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Friday fun: Friday pun Edited

Bridget Community Manager Dec 07, 2017

While I'm still quite new to the Atlassian team, my coworkers are already more than familiar with my puntastic/cringe-worthy sense of humor. So, for this Friday fun post, I'm giving it a rest (for once) and calling on this community to provide the most cringe worth dad (or mom) joke they can muster!

Just kidding about the giving-it-a-rest part. Here's mine: 

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve mushrooms here." 

The mushroom says, "Why?! I'm a fungi!" 

18 comments

Kevan Lin Atlassian Team Dec 07, 2017

What did sushi A say to sushi B? 

Wa sa B?

Like # people like this
Leslie Lee Atlassian Team Dec 07, 2017

What do you call a bear with no teeth? 

 

A gummy bear!

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this
Bridget Community Manager Dec 07, 2017

Hahahahahahaha! Good one Leslie. 

I wasn't able to make reservations at the library; they're completely booked.

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+++

A man walked into a bar.

He said "ow!"

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BiancaE Atlassian Team Dec 07, 2017

lulz

Is this a pun, though?  It's a Dad joke.

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

@Bridget asked for dad jokes! 

Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 07, 2017

this is one, I don't understand as a non-native speaker... (you can explain it to me the next time, we meet)

Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 07, 2017

Ah, now I got it... took some time 😃

Major Dad joke, LOL !!

Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 07, 2017

I take a break from this week's Friday fun - my English is not good enough to pun 😃 

But I am also busier than usual already with the Advent Calendar 🎄

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

I will help:

Q: What's a German's favorite number?

A: Nein!

Like Aparajita Basu Roy likes this
Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 07, 2017

😂 - that's funny 👍

Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 07, 2017

Another German one:

No matter how kind you are,

German children will always be kinder.

Like # people like this

And you said you didn't have time or skills to pun! 🤣

Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 07, 2017

Well, actually, I have time - sitting on my sofa and watching TV

I would ask what you're watching but maybe I'll save that for a future Friday fun question 🙃

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese? 
Because, it is a Wurst-Käse scenario.

Like # people like this
Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 12, 2017

ouch, that hurts... :-)

@Thomas Schlegel: you just made me think of one of my favourite puns of all time that makes my German friends really groan and roll their eyes:

If they're complaining about something negative in life I say 'Oh my, that is just das Wurst!" 

 

I be all like: "Ha ha!"

And they be all like:


Facepalm.gif

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on their side?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian (Scan-da-navy-in)!

Like # people like this

yeah...yeah...?  

husky.jpg

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

The pun dog is my favorite. 

Erica Moss Community Manager Dec 12, 2017

Best one I've seen recently: The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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Nic Brough Community Leader Dec 12, 2017

Don't think this is a pun, but it's a Christmas joke that made me laugh (I have to at the moment, I live in the UK, and it's either laughing at how stupid it's got, or crying):

Why was the Prime Minister Theresa May sacked as nativity manager?  She couldn't run a stable government.

But one of my long-term go-to bad puns is:

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Like # people like this
Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 12, 2017

😄 - had to look twice at the spelling to understand, that's a good one 👍

Nic Brough Community Leader Dec 13, 2017

I just stumbled across a longer one which I think is brilliant:

 

I just asked Siri, "Surely it's not going to rain tomorrow?"

She said, "It will, and don't call me 'Shirley'"

I'd forgotten to take my 'phone off Airplane mode.

Like # people like this

Hahahaha omg that might be my favorite so far. 

Nic Brough Community Leader Dec 13, 2017

Thing is, I now want a 'phone where that is what Airplane mode really means!  I'd look forward to asking it for help with my drinking problem.

Like LarryBrock likes this

I wonder what it would have to say about Turkish prisons. 

Bridget Community Manager Dec 13, 2017

like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like!

Like LarryBrock likes this
Thomas Schlegel Community Leader Dec 14, 2017

In the German cut, this Shirley-pun was translated that way:

- Sie können ja nicht ernst sein  (but you can't be serious)

- Ja, und nennen Sie mich nicht Ernst  (yes, and don't call me Ernst - Ernst is also a German first name)

But this joke is not half as famous as it seems to be in the English-speaking world :-)

  

Hahahaha!

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

moray

Nacho Cheese

("Not-your cheese")

Like # people like this

I feel like the eel really makes this pun work. 

LarryBrock Community Leader Apr 06, 2019

@Monique van den Berg- you don't know about the Friday Joke eel?

Wouldn't want to have a mist opportunity....
mist-husky-puppy.jpg

Like # people like this
Erica Moss Community Manager Dec 19, 2017

@Kimberly Deal -Columbus AUG-, I love this with my whole heart.

BiancaE Atlassian Team Dec 19, 2017

GAW. SO CUTE.

Ignacio Pulgar Community Leader Feb 01, 2018

Thinking of this as if it were a serious promotional video of Atlassian Bamboo. 

Like # people like this
Erica Moss Community Manager Feb 01, 2018

Laughed out loud. 😆

So did I!

The most weird thing is that it worked! I was kind-of convinced of buying Bamboo by those arguments! :D

If I were a Bamboo Developer, I'd like to hear that song as a humorous approach to improving team's motivation from time to time. ^_^

Ignacio Pulgar Community Leader Feb 02, 2018

May I get the Friday Funmaker badge for this? :P

Ignacio Pulgar Community Leader Feb 02, 2018

Thanks Thomas! Will schedule it!

My kids used to LOVE Big Bugs Band.... it's amazing! (I secretly still do love it...) 😍🙄💝

Like Ignacio Pulgar likes this

Two peanuts were walking in Central Park. One was a salted. 

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

It's really dumb but my favourite pun comes from a joke:

I need to go to the dentist because the time is Tooth Hurty ! ! ! (14:30) Hahaha.
Terrible.

The receptionist at my dentist never gives me this time slot because she spent several years having to listen to me say over the phone..... 
"I will never forget when it's time to come see you guys.... it'll be Tooth Hurty"

@Bridget: you & your blog just inspired me to write potentially the dumbest pun in all of Atlassian history - and in my Summit Session Call paper no less!

"Speaking at Summit would be the 'pinnacle' of showing my love for Atlassian and sharing its best practices."

Facepalm2.gif

Like BiancaE likes this

This post has turned me into a monster..... 
During yesterday's Stand Up:


DEV:   I finally fixed that configuration and integration error with the GUI.


ME:    GUI for you ! !

Congrats.jpg

@Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR our work here is done. 🤣

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

Hahaha!
Your work might be done 
@Monique van den Berg, but the madness is far from over !

🤩🌟🤘

Jodi LeBlanc Community Leader May 27, 2019

I needed a good laugh on a rainy Monday!! Thanks all :) 

are-you-kitten-me-right-meow-awww-a-nice-cute-7635874.png

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

I sure I've had this mustard before? Or maybe it's a case of Dijon Vu...

Like Andy Barker - TWNKLS AR likes this

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