Friday fun: Friday pun

[Bridget]

While I'm still quite new to the Atlassian team, my coworkers are already more than familiar with my puntastic/cringe-worthy sense of humor. So, for this Friday fun post, I'm giving it a rest (for once) and calling on this community to provide the most cringe worth dad (or mom) joke they can muster!

Just kidding about the giving-it-a-rest part. Here's mine: 

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve mushrooms here." 

The mushroom says, "Why?! I'm a fungi!" 

[Kevan Lin]

What did sushi A say to sushi B? 

Wa sa B?

[Christopher Ball]

OMG. thats great. I am stealing this!

[Leslie Lee]

What do you call a bear with no teeth? 

A gummy bear!

[Bridget]

Hahahahahahaha! Good one Leslie. 

[Season]

I wasn't able to make reservations at the library; they're completely booked.

[Monique vdB]

+++

[Veronique DUFOUR]

I like this one :)

[Monique vdB]

A man walked into a bar.

He said "ow!"

[BiancaE]

lulz

[Scott Grieder]

Is this a pun, though?  It's a Dad joke.

[Monique vdB]

@Bridget asked for dad jokes! 

[Thomas Schlegel]

this is one, I don't understand as a non-native speaker... (you can explain it to me the next time, we meet)

[Thomas Schlegel]

Ah, now I got it... took some time 😃

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

Major Dad joke, LOL !!

[Thomas Schlegel]

I take a break from this week's Friday fun - my English is not good enough to pun 😃 

But I am also busier than usual already with the Advent Calendar 🎄

[Monique vdB]

I will help:

Q: What's a German's favorite number?

A: Nein!

[Thomas Schlegel]

😂 - that's funny 👍

[Thomas Schlegel]

Another German one:

No matter how kind you are,

German children will always be kinder.

[Monique vdB]

And you said you didn't have time or skills to pun! 🤣

[Thomas Schlegel]

Well, actually, I have time - sitting on my sofa and watching TV

[Monique vdB]

I would ask what you're watching but maybe I'll save that for a future Friday fun question 🙃

[Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_]

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese? 
Because, it is a Wurst-Käse scenario.

[Thomas Schlegel]

ouch, that hurts... :-)

[BiancaE]

lol @Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

@Thomas Schlegel: you just made me think of one of my favourite puns of all time that makes my German friends really groan and roll their eyes:

If they're complaining about something negative in life I say 'Oh my, that is just das Wurst!" 

I be all like: "Ha ha!"

And they be all like:

[Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_]

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on their side?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian (Scan-da-navy-in)!

[Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_]

yeah...yeah...?  

[Monique vdB]

The pun dog is my favorite. 

[Gene Culling]

What do Swedish ninjas say?

Heja!

[Erica Moss]

Best one I've seen recently: The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

[Nic Brough -Adaptavist-]

Don't think this is a pun, but it's a Christmas joke that made me laugh (I have to at the moment, I live in the UK, and it's either laughing at how stupid it's got, or crying):

Why was the Prime Minister Theresa May sacked as nativity manager?  She couldn't run a stable government.

But one of my long-term go-to bad puns is:

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Thomas Schlegel]

😄 - had to look twice at the spelling to understand, that's a good one 👍

[Nic Brough -Adaptavist-]

I just stumbled across a longer one which I think is brilliant:

I just asked Siri, "Surely it's not going to rain tomorrow?"

She said, "It will, and don't call me 'Shirley'"

I'd forgotten to take my 'phone off Airplane mode.

[Monique vdB]

Hahahaha omg that might be my favorite so far. 

[Nic Brough -Adaptavist-]

Thing is, I now want a 'phone where that is what Airplane mode really means!  I'd look forward to asking it for help with my drinking problem.

[Monique vdB]

I wonder what it would have to say about Turkish prisons. 

[Bridget]

like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like!

[Thomas Schlegel]

In the German cut, this Shirley-pun was translated that way:

- Sie können ja nicht ernst sein  (but you can't be serious)

- Ja, und nennen Sie mich nicht Ernst  (yes, and don't call me Ernst - Ernst is also a German first name)

But this joke is not half as famous as it seems to be in the English-speaking world :-)

[Monique vdB]

Hahahaha!

[Jack Brickey]

this is a brilliant double-pun.

[Mike Clarke]

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho Cheese

("Not-your cheese")

[Monique vdB]

I feel like the eel really makes this pun work. 

[LarryBrock]

@Monique vdB- you don't know about the Friday Joke eel?

[Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_]

Wouldn't want to have a mist opportunity....

[Erica Moss]

@Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_, I love this with my whole heart.

[BiancaE]

GAW. SO CUTE.

[Ignacio Pulgar]

Thinking of this as if it were a serious promotional video of Atlassian Bamboo. 

[Erica Moss]

Laughed out loud. 😆

[Ignacio Pulgar]

So did I!

The most weird thing is that it worked! I was kind-of convinced of buying Bamboo by those arguments! :D

If I were a Bamboo Developer, I'd like to hear that song as a humorous approach to improving team's motivation from time to time. ^_^

[Ignacio Pulgar]

May I get the Friday Funmaker badge for this? :P

[Thomas Schlegel]

@Ignacio Pulgar - no no, not so easy 😄

The 23rd of February can be yours:

https://community.atlassian.com/t5/Off-topic-discussions/Signups-for-Friday-fun/td-p/695655

[Ignacio Pulgar]

Thanks Thomas! Will schedule it!

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

My kids used to LOVE Big Bugs Band.... it's amazing! (I secretly still do love it...) 😍🙄💝

[SGD]

Two peanuts were walking in Central Park. One was a salted. 

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

It's really dumb but my favourite pun comes from a joke:

I need to go to the dentist because the time is Tooth Hurty ! ! ! (14:30) Hahaha.
Terrible.

The receptionist at my dentist never gives me this time slot because she spent several years having to listen to me say over the phone..... 
"I will never forget when it's time to come see you guys.... it'll be Tooth Hurty"

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

@Bridget: you & your blog just inspired me to write potentially the dumbest pun in all of Atlassian history - and in my Summit Session Call paper no less!

"Speaking at Summit would be the 'pinnacle' of showing my love for Atlassian and sharing its best practices."

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

This post has turned me into a monster..... 
During yesterday's Stand Up:


DEV:   I finally fixed that configuration and integration error with the GUI.


ME:    GUI for you ! !

[Monique vdB]

@Andy - PTC Redundant our work here is done. 🤣

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

Hahaha!
Your work might be done @Monique vdB, but the madness is far from over !

🤩🌟🤘

[Jodi LeBlanc]

I needed a good laugh on a rainy Monday!! Thanks all :) 

[Trevor Loveland]

I sure I've had this mustard before? Or maybe it's a case of Dijon Vu...

[Larry Hawkes]

Nice to see everyone is having lots of pun around here...

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

#OMGoodness ! !  Hahahahahah!!! 🤣😆😂👏👏👏👏

[Mike Clarke]

It's important to be careful when carrying a bowl of alphabet soup

....dropping it could spell disaster

[Dan Walker]

What did Santa Claus do when Rudolph tried a loop the loop?
He held on for deer life!

What does Santa shout when the raindeer fart?
"How Rude-olph you!"

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

Oh deery me @Dan Walker !! Terrible (i.e. great) puns! 😂🤣

[Dan Walker]

Yea, I sleighed it :D

THanks dude :)

 

No one can stand my super dry, super terrible Paronomasia (the art of punning) in our office....

  

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

BWUHAH HA HAHAHAH AHAHA HAA H ! ! ! ! ! ! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

BRILLIANT! Never seen that one before!

[Dan Walker]

If you where in my team, you would tire of it quickly!!! hahaha, it's nice to be in a community where my wit (if thats what you'd call it!) is still fresh.... 

Give it a day....

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

I'm not so sure @Dan Walker ... I don't 'tire' easily. I WHEELY WHEELY like puns and memes....!! That's why they call me Fun Man Andy! 😉

[And note that on community, the wit never goes off! #AlwaysFresh!]

[Dan Walker]

A well rounded attitude, though I can sense it going down hill....

:/

Content Warning : Imminent danger of a pun war breaking out....

ROFL

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

@Dan Walker : Hah hah hah ! ! Indeed!

This is getting out of..... wait for it.... CONT-ROLL ! ! ! 

🤩🌟👍🤘🚀👏👏👏👏👏

[Larry Hawkes]

Yeah... That's very punny...

[Larry Hawkes]

I don't know... Memes don't seem very pun to me...

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

Hah hah! Great pun there @Larry Hawkes 😉

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

Puns are both FUN and INFECTIOUS!! Love this one I just posted on a complete different unrelated discussion on Community!! 😀

[Tim Keyes]

I found this online and found it pretty funny!  It took me a couple of seconds to get it.

"Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap."

[Kat Warner]

How did it take so long for me to find this thread?

[Andy - PTC Redundant]

@Kat Warner :

Thread?? Guess you've been looking for a .... wait for it....

needle in a haystack! 😅🧵

[BiancaE]

😆😂🤣 good one @Andy - PTC Redundant !