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Friday fun: Friday pun

Bridget
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

While I'm still quite new to the Atlassian team, my coworkers are already more than familiar with my puntastic/cringe-worthy sense of humor. So, for this Friday fun post, I'm giving it a rest (for once) and calling on this community to provide the most cringe worth dad (or mom) joke they can muster!

Just kidding about the giving-it-a-rest part. Here's mine: 

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve mushrooms here." 

The mushroom says, "Why?! I'm a fungi!" 

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Kevan Lin
Atlassian Team
Atlassian Team members are employees working across the company in a wide variety of roles.
December 7, 2017

What did sushi A say to sushi B? 

Wa sa B?

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Christopher Ball November 13, 2019

OMG. thats great. I am stealing this!

Leslie Lee
Atlassian Team
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December 7, 2017

What do you call a bear with no teeth? 

 

A gummy bear!

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Bridget
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

Hahahahahahaha! Good one Leslie. 

Season
Atlassian Team
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December 7, 2017

I wasn't able to make reservations at the library; they're completely booked.

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

+++

Veronique DUFOUR November 1, 2020

I like this one :)

Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

A man walked into a bar.

He said "ow!"

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BiancaE
Atlassian Team
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December 7, 2017

lulz

Scott Grieder
Atlassian Team
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December 7, 2017

Is this a pun, though?  It's a Dad joke.

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

@Bridget asked for dad jokes! 

Thomas Schlegel
Community Leader
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December 7, 2017

this is one, I don't understand as a non-native speaker... (you can explain it to me the next time, we meet)

Thomas Schlegel
Community Leader
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December 7, 2017

Ah, now I got it... took some time 😃

Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 10, 2018

Major Dad joke, LOL !!

Thomas Schlegel
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December 7, 2017

I take a break from this week's Friday fun - my English is not good enough to pun 😃 

But I am also busier than usual already with the Advent Calendar 🎄

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

I will help:

Q: What's a German's favorite number?

A: Nein!

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Thomas Schlegel
Community Leader
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December 7, 2017

😂 - that's funny 👍

Thomas Schlegel
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December 7, 2017

Another German one:

No matter how kind you are,

German children will always be kinder.

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

And you said you didn't have time or skills to pun! 🤣

Thomas Schlegel
Community Leader
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December 7, 2017

Well, actually, I have time - sitting on my sofa and watching TV

Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 7, 2017

I would ask what you're watching but maybe I'll save that for a future Friday fun question 🙃

Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_
Community Leader
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December 12, 2017

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese? 
Because, it is a Wurst-Käse scenario.

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Thomas Schlegel
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December 12, 2017

ouch, that hurts... :-)

BiancaE
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December 12, 2017
Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 10, 2018

@Thomas Schlegel: you just made me think of one of my favourite puns of all time that makes my German friends really groan and roll their eyes:

If they're complaining about something negative in life I say 'Oh my, that is just das Wurst!" 

 

I be all like: "Ha ha!"

And they be all like:


Facepalm.gif

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Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_
Community Leader
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December 12, 2017

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on their side?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian (Scan-da-navy-in)!

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Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_
Community Leader
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December 19, 2017

yeah...yeah...?  

husky.jpg

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 19, 2017

The pun dog is my favorite. 

Gene Culling
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November 12, 2020

What do Swedish ninjas say?

 

Heja!

Erica Moss
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December 12, 2017

Best one I've seen recently: The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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Nic Brough -Adaptavist-
Community Leader
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December 12, 2017

Don't think this is a pun, but it's a Christmas joke that made me laugh (I have to at the moment, I live in the UK, and it's either laughing at how stupid it's got, or crying):

Why was the Prime Minister Theresa May sacked as nativity manager?  She couldn't run a stable government.

But one of my long-term go-to bad puns is:

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

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Thomas Schlegel
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December 12, 2017

😄 - had to look twice at the spelling to understand, that's a good one 👍

Nic Brough -Adaptavist-
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December 13, 2017

I just stumbled across a longer one which I think is brilliant:

 

I just asked Siri, "Surely it's not going to rain tomorrow?"

She said, "It will, and don't call me 'Shirley'"

I'd forgotten to take my 'phone off Airplane mode.

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 13, 2017

Hahahaha omg that might be my favorite so far. 

Nic Brough -Adaptavist-
Community Leader
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December 13, 2017

Thing is, I now want a 'phone where that is what Airplane mode really means!  I'd look forward to asking it for help with my drinking problem.

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 13, 2017

I wonder what it would have to say about Turkish prisons. 

Bridget
Community Manager
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December 13, 2017

like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like!

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Thomas Schlegel
Community Leader
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December 14, 2017

In the German cut, this Shirley-pun was translated that way:

- Sie können ja nicht ernst sein  (but you can't be serious)

- Ja, und nennen Sie mich nicht Ernst  (yes, and don't call me Ernst - Ernst is also a German first name)

But this joke is not half as famous as it seems to be in the English-speaking world :-)

  

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Monique vdB
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December 14, 2017

Hahahaha!

Jack Brickey
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November 6, 2020

this is a brilliant double-pun.

Mike Clarke
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December 18, 2017

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

moray

Nacho Cheese

("Not-your cheese")

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Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 18, 2017

I feel like the eel really makes this pun work. 

LarryBrock
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April 6, 2019

@Monique vdB- you don't know about the Friday Joke eel?

Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_
Community Leader
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December 19, 2017

Wouldn't want to have a mist opportunity....
mist-husky-puppy.jpg

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Erica Moss
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December 19, 2017

@Kimberly Deal _Columbus ACE_, I love this with my whole heart.

BiancaE
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December 19, 2017

GAW. SO CUTE.

Ignacio Pulgar
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February 1, 2018

Thinking of this as if it were a serious promotional video of Atlassian Bamboo. 

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Erica Moss
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February 1, 2018

Laughed out loud. 😆

Ignacio Pulgar
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February 2, 2018

So did I!

The most weird thing is that it worked! I was kind-of convinced of buying Bamboo by those arguments! :D

If I were a Bamboo Developer, I'd like to hear that song as a humorous approach to improving team's motivation from time to time. ^_^

Ignacio Pulgar
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February 2, 2018

May I get the Friday Funmaker badge for this? :P

Thomas Schlegel
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February 2, 2018
Ignacio Pulgar
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February 2, 2018

Thanks Thomas! Will schedule it!

Andy - PTC Redundant
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June 12, 2019

My kids used to LOVE Big Bugs Band.... it's amazing! (I secretly still do love it...) 😍🙄💝

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SGD
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August 17, 2018

Two peanuts were walking in Central Park. One was a salted. 

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 10, 2018

It's really dumb but my favourite pun comes from a joke:

I need to go to the dentist because the time is Tooth Hurty ! ! ! (14:30) Hahaha.
Terrible.

The receptionist at my dentist never gives me this time slot because she spent several years having to listen to me say over the phone..... 
"I will never forget when it's time to come see you guys.... it'll be Tooth Hurty"

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 10, 2018

@Bridget: you & your blog just inspired me to write potentially the dumbest pun in all of Atlassian history - and in my Summit Session Call paper no less!

"Speaking at Summit would be the 'pinnacle' of showing my love for Atlassian and sharing its best practices."

Facepalm2.gif

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 12, 2018

This post has turned me into a monster..... 
During yesterday's Stand Up:


DEV:   I finally fixed that configuration and integration error with the GUI.


ME:    GUI for you ! !

Congrats.jpg

Monique vdB
Community Manager
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December 12, 2018

@Andy - PTC Redundant our work here is done. 🤣

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 12, 2018

Hahaha!
Your work might be done 
@Monique vdB, but the madness is far from over !

🤩🌟🤘

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Jodi LeBlanc
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May 27, 2019

I needed a good laugh on a rainy Monday!! Thanks all :) 

are-you-kitten-me-right-meow-awww-a-nice-cute-7635874.png

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Trevor Loveland June 12, 2019

I sure I've had this mustard before? Or maybe it's a case of Dijon Vu...

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Larry Hawkes November 4, 2019

Nice to see everyone is having lots of pun around here...

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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November 4, 2019

#OMGoodness ! !  Hahahahahah!!! 🤣😆😂👏👏👏👏

Mike Clarke December 5, 2019

It's important to be careful when carrying a bowl of alphabet soup

....dropping it could spell disaster

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Dan Walker December 13, 2019

What did Santa Claus do when Rudolph tried a loop the loop?
He held on for deer life!

What does Santa shout when the raindeer fart?
"How Rude-olph you!"

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 13, 2019

Oh deery me @Dan Walker !! Terrible (i.e. great) puns! 😂🤣

deer3.gif

Dan Walker December 13, 2019

Yea, I sleighed it :D

THanks dude :)

 

No one can stand my super dry, super terrible Paronomasia (the art of punning) in our office....

SealOfApproval.png  not_fit_for_porpoise.png

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 13, 2019

BWUHAH HA HAHAHAH AHAHA HAA H ! ! ! ! ! ! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

 

BRILLIANT! Never seen that one before!

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Dan Walker December 13, 2019

If you where in my team, you would tire of it quickly!!! hahaha, it's nice to be in a community where my wit (if thats what you'd call it!) is still fresh.... 

Give it a day....

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 13, 2019

I'm not so sure @Dan Walker ... I don't 'tire' easily. I WHEELY WHEELY like puns and memes....!! That's why they call me Fun Man Andy! 😉

[And note that on community, the wit never goes off! #AlwaysFresh!]

landscape-1477061357-off-road-tires.gif

Dan Walker December 13, 2019

A well rounded attitude, though I can sense it going down hill....

:/

Content Warning : Imminent danger of a pun war breaking out....

ROFL

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 14, 2019

@Dan Walker : Hah hah hah ! ! Indeed!

This is getting out of..... wait for it.... CONT-ROLL ! ! ! 


🤩🌟👍🤘🚀👏👏👏👏👏

Larry Hawkes December 17, 2019

Yeah... That's very punny...

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Larry Hawkes December 13, 2019

I don't know... Memes don't seem very pun to me...

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 14, 2019

Hah hah! Great pun there @Larry Hawkes 😉

Andy - PTC Redundant
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December 14, 2019

Puns are both FUN and INFECTIOUS!! Love this one I just posted on a complete different unrelated discussion on Community!! 😀

FirdayFunPun.jpg

Tim Keyes
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January 10, 2020

I found this online and found it pretty funny!  It took me a couple of seconds to get it.

 

"Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap."

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Kat Warner
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January 13, 2020

How did it take so long for me to find this thread?

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Andy - PTC Redundant
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January 23, 2020

@Kat Warner :

Thread?? Guess you've been looking for a .... wait for it....

needle in a haystack! 😅🧵

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BiancaE
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January 23, 2020

😆😂🤣 good one @Andy - PTC Redundant !

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