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Which five celebrities would you quarantine with? Edited

mattjared Atlassian Team May 08, 2020

Just like the title states, let's hear which five celebrities you would spend quarantine with! Like all good hypotheticals there are going to be some strict rules around this challenge. 

  • Let's assume you'll be together for something like two or threes months before you can go back to your normal lives and locations. 
  • You won't have to "defend" yourself or anything crazy. Just chill and self-isolate.
  • The celebrities you are choosing must be alive. Sorry to the Billy Shakespeare heads or John Lennon lovers, only living celebs will be considered. (Also sorry to Nearly Headless Nick from the Harry Potter series, Ron was very crass at your Death Day party and I don't think people have properly apologized to you for that.)
  • You must state where you will be quarantining and it also must be an actual place. As much as I would love to quarantine with Han Solo and Chewbacca on the Millennium Falcon (or better yet the Death Star, much more room to roam) it must be a real place humans can actually go to now. (But of course you could say you want to be at Disney World and in particular the Galaxy's Edge Star Wars park where there is an actual YT Model Correllian Freighter just hanging out, that does count but you'd be kicking it with Harrison Ford (or the other guy who needed an acting coach) and Joonas Suotamo (RIP Peter Mayhew)).
  • And finally, please share a quick synopsis of the day in the life of your Quarantine Qrew. What do you do all day? What's your schedule like? What problems will arise? What skills will you acquire? 

Ok time for my team...

1. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

In the immortal words of StarLord aka Peter Quill in Avengers Infinity War, "Ok I'm gonna commit, I'm gonna get a Bowflex", my first pick is about committing to health and fitness. With The Rock on my quarantine qrew we are going to have our workouts completely dialed in and motivation through the roof. Have you seen this guys Instagram? I'm pretty sure all he does is talk into his phone and work out. On top of having an accountabili-buddy in The Rock after our time in quarantine he would surely save me a role in one of the future 36 Fast and the Furious movies that are in pre-production. I will need to squirrel away some time during all this to set up an IMDB page for myself. Anyway, The Rock will be our personal trainer and film career shaman. 

2. Charles Barkley 

3. Shaquille O'Neal

This is a package deal. Neither lives while the other survives (at lest in terms of pranks and being invited to my self-isolation shindig). I am a life-long lover of anything related to basketball and not only would I have two of the all-time greats of the NBA chillin with me every day, I have two of the all-time great jokers on all of TV. Here's my favorite Chuck and Shaq hamming it up video. The relationship between these two is sometimes tenuous which would make quarantine life so much more interesting. Chuck and Shaq come to my quarantine party for the pranks and basketball talk and stay for the friendship and camaraderie. 

4. Seth Rogan

Purely added for comedic relief. Are there funnier people? Maybe. Are there more famous people? Sure. Are there people who would be a better "hang." Surely. I could sub out Seth for Jason Segal, Jason Bateman or Kevin Hart to provide even more levity but I am picking Seth Rogan because I think he would be fearless in pranking everybody in the house. Especially my next pick...

5. Guy Fieri

After a long day of working out and self-isolating the team is going to need to refuel. What better way to refuel than taking a very quick trip over to Flavor Town? My guy Guy will cook us up some Trash Can Nachos served with some Bud Light Platinums or something like that and we will be riding high at the end of each day. 

Location: Mark Wahlburg's Mansion in Bel Air

I saw a video of James Corden going to go work out at Marky Mark's house once and it looked like it had a full gym, basketball court and TONS of space on top of being on a golf course in the middle of LA. So, something like that is where we'll be located. We need a lot of space because we have a squad of very large humans. Note: Mark Wahlburg is not invited. 

Activities: So many

Since we've created so much room for activities my team I think will have a healthy balance of hanging out and also have some space to be away from each other. Here's how I see a day in the life going with my team...

8:00-8:50AM: Non Flavor Town breakfast.

Something that Guy makes for The Rock and me so we are prepared for our work out but nothing too tasty. We need to be fueled but bogged down during these insane work out sessions. Maybe The Rock could be our breakfast chef and we could finally smell what The Rock was cookin? 

9:00-9:10AM: Workout

I can only make it ten minutes into The Rock's workout routine before I pass out and almost die. Spend the rest of the time learning how to hold a 2x4 and looking tough so I can be on a movie poster with The Rock one day. Sub out a 2x4 for learning how to look like I'm fidgeting with my cuff links and looking off into the distance for extremely staged Instagram posts. Depends on the day. Note: Chuck, Shaq and Seth will also be working out but they will be going at 2mph on exercise bikes making fun of the other people working out similar to the guys in the box on The Muppets who just talk trash all day. Another note: Not sure where Guy lands on the workout spectrum so we'll have to revisit that another day. 

9:15-11:00AM Complete Workout and get ready for the day

Insert montage of me achieving my dreams and The Rock doing pull ups or something.

12:00AM-6:00PM: Lunch + Pranks + General Shenanigans

Since we'll be living on a golf course I anticipate a lot of golf, golf practice and inevitably golf trickshot challenges that will cause large sums of property damage. Another great reason to choose Charles Barkley is so I have someone to smoke in golf each day. Possibly the only golfer worse than me is Sir Charles. I wanted to change out The Rock for Tiger Woods for this thought experiment but I decided against because I'm not trying to go pro as a golfer, I'm trying to be in terrible action movies and enjoy golf. In addition to golf I'm anticipating a lot of 3-on-3 basketball (me, Chuck and Guy VS Shaq, The Rock and Seth Rogan). I match up surprisingly well with Shaq since I've gained 83 pounds from both my insane workout routine and eating and entire bucket of chicken wings and pizza rolls that Guy makes for us each day. After golf, hoops and general shenanigans I can definitely see some heated games of Settlers of Catan. We'd have to get some expansion packs so everyone can play of course. I bet there would be some intense matchups given that I am awesome at that game and I can almost guarantee that Guy Fieri would just try and hoard wheat the whole time with no game plan. 

On top of sports, playing games and roasting each other I envision the team working together to solve some of the world's problems. We would possibly form a charitable foundation together to fight a common enemy and use all of our skills to better the lives of those in need. Idk though, who knows if there will be enough time for that. 

7:00pm Flavor Town

As I've alluded to throughout this post, Guy Fieri is our personal chef. Diner's, Drive In's and Dives every single day! Can you imagine?! So many chicken wings! Burgers! Probably some cool desserts! I bet Guy has got the hookup on some great homemade ice cream recipes! On second thought, I might change Seth Rogan out for a cardiologist. 

Conclusion

Let's hear your Celebrity Quarantine Team in the comments. Go into as much or as little detail as you want and have fun with it. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! 

7 comments

My Celebrity Quarantine Team will be:

1-2. Jan Frodeno & Michał Kwiatkowski - I love triathlons and cycling and these two guys are my favourite competitors and I hope I will meet both in the future.

3-4. Tom Holland & Ryan Reynolds - who don't want spend some time with Deadpool and Spiderman? Second reason is that Tom can't stop spoiling Marvel movies so will be perfect knowledge base about new movies :)

5. Dave Grohl - Dave Grohl and Foo fighters don't need any additional comment :P


Location: Mallorca - best tracks for cycling :)

Schedule:

1. Long ride with Jan and Michał. I hope learn a lot of things during this ride.

2. Dinner with whole team. Just eat and talk about funny stuff.

3. Afternoon swimming training with Jan

4. Evening party - singing with Dave, joking with Ryan and Tom. Relax and talking with everyone.


This is my Celebrity Quarantine Team ;)

Like # people like this

I gotta represent all the introverts out there who are saying to themselves, "Uh, nobody is invited to my Quarantine Qrew!" LOL.  I found a way to have the best of both worlds ... seclusion and interesting people you don't necessarily have to talk to ... read on ...

WHO:

First, I assume this includes my husband automatically.  He's my ride or die.

I'm picking people that I'm sure would keep to themselves EXCEPT when we're having very deep conversations about interesting subjects - as introverts are wont to do.  This is a "no chit chat" crew, for sure!

  • David Lynch - American Director.  I've heard that for a while now, pre-pandemic, he's moved into a small room on his Hollywood Hills compound and he just smokes, watches movies, and paints.  My kind of guy (except for the smoking).
  • Takashi Miike - Japanese Director.  He has been churning out multiple amazing movies every year since 1991 (29 years!).  This is not a person that prioritizes socializing.
  • Lars Von Trier - Danish Director.  He is an amazing filmmaker who once said in an interview, "Basically, I'm afraid of everything in life, except film making."  This guy would definitely stay in his room.
  • Thomas Ligotti - American Author.  His weird fiction is incredibly dark and touching.  It's no wonder that his work inspired much of the darkness in True Detective, Season 1. A self-expressed pessimist and antinatalist, he'd definitely skulk around his quarters in the castle most of the time.
  • Eric G. Wilson - American Author. I recently finished his book Against Happiness which was amazing and reflects my beliefs around embracing the whole of human experience.

WHERE:

This giant gothic castle in Conneticut on 75 acres of land.   https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-a-custom-built-gothic-castle-in-connecticut-2015-10#of-the-seven-other-guest-bedrooms-in-the-home-four-have-their-own-fireplace-they-look-like-something-youd-find-in-a-castle-16

 

ACTIVITIES:

Staying in our rooms being intensely creative. 

Venturing out to that amazing kitchen to in the castle make delicious food and possibly running into castle-mates and having a wonderful, interesting conversation about philosophy, visual language, favorite words, idea space, creativity, colors, or just sitting together at the table being quiet.

Walking around the castle by ourselves.

Walking around the lake and 75 acres by ourselves.

Quietly reading books.

Watching movies ... possibly alone ... possibly together.

Possibly gathering around a late night fireplace with wine or cocktails and having a wonderful, interesting conversation about philosophy, visual language, favorite words, idea space, creativity, colors, or just sitting together enjoying the warmth and soft crackle of the fire.

 

TIMELINE:

Matt suggests this might last 2 or 3 months (oh, the optimism 😉) but to be completely honest, I could live there with those people (and a steady stream of supplies/food) for the rest of my life.

Like # people like this
Thomas Schlegel Community Leader May 11, 2020

Great selection, I think you can talk for weeks with David Lynch about his movies and series. I‘ll join the castle!

Like Alice M likes this
Brittany Joiner Community Leader May 08, 2020

Ooooh this is fun. Mine would be

1. Amy Poehler - she's hilarious and i like to think im a real life leslie knope myself

2. Dax Shepherd - i love his podcast Armchair Experts, and like Amy, he's hilarious, and he also has good insights on life. 

3. Dan Ariely - does he count as a celebrity? He's a well known behavioral economist. I would LOVE to be able to pick his brain at any moment and hear his thoughts on all the things going on in the world right now. 

4. Jennifer Anniston and Emma Watson - i mean they're both really cool people.

 

Location: 

Somewhere with some land so i can ride my dirt bike.

 

Schedule:

I'll defer to Knope/Poehler on this cause she would put together something way better than anything i could come up with.

Like # people like this
Monique vdB Community Manager May 08, 2020

Okay, here is my Quarantine Qrew!

Steve Carell: By all accounts, he is a super nice guy, and he is also hilarious. 

Lin Manuel-Miranda: Also an amazing human, and can play the piano and do musical theater singalongs.

Michelle Obama: I feel like she would be a great island leader and person to talk to.

Dominique Crenn: I know nothing about her personally, but she has three Michelin Stars and that's good enough for me! Plus I've eaten at Atelier Crenn and it was incredible.

Sarah Cray: I had Kate McKinnon here but really thinking about it, I would love to have someone to share one of my hobbies and I love her watercolor tutorials and her sweet personality.

We live in Costa Rica, on the Caribbean side, not too far from the rain forest. Our days begin with a birdwatching hike, led by a local guide. Then we come back and have a light, fresh, healthy lunch with local fruit.  The afternoons are dedicated to watercoloring, board games, reading, and swimming. In the evening, Dominique Crenn cooks us dinner and Lin-Manuel leads a musical theater singalong. 

Like # people like this
Jack Community Leader May 08, 2020

Nice post! This is an easy one!

Monique, Stephanie, Erica, Celina, Maura, Daniel, Andrew, Kevan, Mandy, Bridget, Cassie...Because I missed them at Live Summit and they are great people and know how to party. Where? Live Summit, where else???

What? I thought they were CELEBS!?!?!?!

Ok...ok...ok...

Dr. Fauci - i figure keeping him close is a good thing right now

Tom Hanks - because he is Tom Hanks!

Robin Williams - I miss him

Will Ferrell - because i need to laugh and I'm sure I won't be disappointed

Barak Obama - so he and I can figure out what they heck is going on

Where: Some remote island that has endless margaritas and fishing

Like # people like this

This is some next level Friday Fun!

People:

My group would not be complete without my husband and child. They are celebrities in my world.

I'd like to quarantine with Stephen Fry and his husband.

The fifth person would be Chelsea Winter, a chef made known though a reality TV cooking contest in New Zealand that does a lot of baking and home cooking.

Location:

Stephen's home likely has enough spare bedrooms, a decent place for watching TV shows and movies, and places to hang our separately and together as individual moods dictate, and a decent sized kitchen.

Activities:

Marathons of Black Adder, and other TV shows and movie nights.

Family-style meals with puddings.

Long conversations about life, people, and general silliness. 

Plenty of time for reading, spending time alone and in pairs, as well as with the group.

Challenges:

Chelsea may not want to cook most of the time nor consider it a fair exchange to a life in quarantine with Stephen Fry and some randoms.

The three other adults may not be keen on hanging out with a child, though he is usually good at being in bed by 7 pm.

I have never been great living with flatmates - so by the end of the 8-12 weeks I'm sure things will be wearing thin.

Like # people like this

Here's my team:

first I need two enthusiastic board gamers, I would choose Cron from German's most popular  Youtube board game  channel  "Hunter und Cron"  and Zee Garcia from the American channel "The Dice Tower".

Their taste in board games is similar to mine, so we wouldn't get bored.

And of course I would choose a board game café as location, so we have enough games to choose from.

Three celebs left... 

Next one would be J.J. Abrams  - I would love to ask thousands of questions about his TV series "LOST" and his book "S - The Ship of Theseus". Both are fascinating in my opinion but hard to understand - maybe even for him? Enough stuff to talk about for weeks.

Two celebs left... 

Next one: Sting - He's one of the greatest musicians alive for me. I love his music and his personality. Of course he has to bring his guitar with him.

Last one: Björk - we need at least one woman in the house - I also love her music, her costumes, her attitude and I think, the weeks will not get boring with her.

And what will we do the whole day? 

Playing board games, talk about movies and books and sing - what else :) 

Like Alice M likes this

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