I contacted Atlassian Support, only to be told to post this here as I have a free account.. My personal account is a free account! I purchased Atlassian Access this morning on my company account. But because it's dead, I cannot raise a ticket there. This is absolutely rubbish support. I had to purchase Atlassian Access to even able SAML SSO.
I enabled SAML SSO on Confluence Cloud / Atlassian Access to enable SSO with Azure. Stupidly, I entered the URLs manually and switched the order of the URLs. Now I cannot login to my account. Nor, recover my account. Nor, raise a ticket with support. Nor, can I use "Can't login?" as it's "having trouble logging me in."
Based on this single interaction, I think it will be time for us to migrate away from Atlassian and I intend to encourage other technical colleagues to do the same. It would have taken someone a minute to read my original request, and even less time to realise my request was not insane.
My original ticket was: CA-1215457
Disappointed user.