How to annoy Agile coaches

[#1]

Why are there so many Agile coaches and what more can we do to annoy them?

I'm joking, however, I do find a lot of Agile Coaches are easily annoyed, tend to be all business, and not a lot of fun.

[Amanda Parrotta]

Step 1 Be a leader resistant to change

Step 2 Argue with every suggestion they make

Step 3 Never be available for or willing to attend meetings facilitated by your Agile Coach

Step 4 Reiterate frequently that Scrum Masters are just team secretaries.

Step 5 constantly change scope, complain about teams velocity, and then tell people "Agile teams are supposed to be responsive to change"

I'm kidding but as an Agile coach ^^^ that'll do it. We get inundated with organizations saying they want us to come in and improve their organization's Agile mindset. *Secret - it's not usually the teams causing issues with agility. These leaders want you to come in and wave a magic wand to make the teams more productive while refusing to be a part of the SOLUTION. They don't care about Agile, they just want their people to magically work faster or harder without actually assisting with getting healthy practices in place. They don't want to follow process, they want to be able to say "jump" and nobody bother to ask how high! 

[John Funk]

@Shawn Doyle - ReleaseTEAM  - Great post!  Sometimes we just need to vent, haha. 

@Amanda Parrotta  - Spot on!

[Laurie Sciutti]

🤣

[Stuart Capel - London]

It's not an easy job being an Agile Coach - explaining these concepts and getting buy in requires fantastic communication and influence. I guess you have to take it quite seriously to be effective.