You'll need to write some code to do this - Jira sends email based on "events", not fields, so you'll need to write a listener to pick up the changes, make the decision and go from there.
However, there is one trick...
If you define groups of users (even if there's only one person in each group) called "male" and "female", you can include the group in the notification scheme (send mail to group custom field).
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