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It’s August 25th 1999. Having just turned 16 that month, young Andrew James got the shock of his life! After 8 tough years of being shit at school and studying, he did the unthinkable: passed his GCSE’s within the top 5% of the UK.
Say WHAT!? Unthinkable!
As a special reward my parents decided that I had earned the right to join my elitist friends at school: I was to get my first mobile phone… and it was a beauty: the tremendously basic Philips GSM. It was so basic it didn’t even have a model number on the packaging or device, just “BT Cell Net”
Once I’d calmed down, one of my next thoughts was : “YES! I can do smilies”. The kids at my school had been talking about them for over a year:
And now it was finally my turn and with that, started a 21 year love affair with - what is now known today as - emojis!
Since that fateful day a lot has changed:
GSMs once made for texting and messages only have grown into Life Management Smart Devices. More importantly (to this article, at least), smilies have evolved into… emojis!
And we’re also no longer limited to the standard that is on offer; we can go absolute bat shit crazy on uploading our own emojis left right and centre!
Need a stroopwaffle emoji? Go right ahead! Want to adorn your messages with pics of your favourite pet!? Be our guest!! (In apps like Slack, as long as you have the correct Admin rights, this feature is limitless and the world is your :party-parrot-with-oyster-hat:!)
One factor hasn’t changed though:
My addiction! It’s the same as it has always been, which means it’s also just as bad as it’s ever gonna get!
I just can’t stop… chat, slack, WhatsApp, e-mails. You name it. If something can be edited digitally it is guaranteed 100% that I am gonna slap an emoji on that b%^*#! I even tried to put emoji’s on my OpenVienna pass. (It kinda worked… no emoji’s but I had three perfect squares on it….)
The other day I even “did a Linetti” when I spoke the emoji out loud. I believe I have now truly reached the pinnacle of my addiction. I am so #two-starry-eyes-big-smile!
Hah hah… you don’t! Emoji’s are here to stay and as long as nutters like me are around (I.e.: always and forever…!), they will forever be a way of life. So hate neither the player, nor the game: get on the field and play!
Maybe you’re wondering why I can never beat this addiction (other than the fact I don’t want to!) and it’s a simple answer really: it’s so easy to achieve.
Slapping an emoji (or ten) onto the end of your sentence is sooooo easy! For a while the easiest way to do that was right there down on your keyboard… just a few simple ticks and the emoji menu will appear. But nowadays, what with smartphones and more powerful programmes, just typing “ : “ followed by some letters will bring up the emoji you want.
So stop being boring and spruce up your typing with some fun. You won’t regret it: I promise!
Disclaimer: never put emojis on legal, commercial or HR contracts. I don’t want to be dragged into your corporate director’s office to have to explain why the latest statement of work template is splashed with #thumbs-up and #heart-with-two-stars.
PS: you might be thinking to yourself “wow, a Fun Man Andy post about emoji’s but without any emoji’s…!?? He must have messed up…???
No. I didn’t. Here they are…. All of them!!!!