"and far too many for your humans to wade through in one place as well." This assumes a lot about my team and how we use our boards. A employee completes about 10 tickets an hour.
We are at such a high rate because we have very individualized tasks (not software) and they need good documentation for each one being completed.
They are in Kanban form, and we have about 100 team members working on tasks. So we complete about 1,000 tasks an hour. This means about 8,000 a day.
It seems like this is more a Atlassian can't get their product to be performant enough, more than a "you couldn't do that, so why would we" issue.