Sharing a podcast I listened to on the problem with the gender binary at work, and how to support our trans and non-binary colleagues. Interesting listen.
https://hbr.org/podcast/2019/05/theres-more-to-gender-than-man-and-woman
From the "I don't get it" camp, how much of a role does and should gender have in most workplaces anyway?
Our office shares 3 toilets with other businesses. There is a urinal and stall in the men's one. Both the women's and unisex toilets have sanitary bins. No-one really cares what toilet someone else uses as long as they don't make a mess.
Individuals are greeted, talked to, and talked about using their preferred name (and pronouns).
Maybe I have been lucky, but in workplaces I have been in there is often more of a parent/non-parent divide than any gender divide.
You are lucky. I worked for a Government contractor at a military base. There was so much gay-bashing going on, I spoke up and defended gay people in general. I was told there were no gay people at our company, in our workgroup or on the base. I knew many gay people in our midst. One friend had been talked to about his "peculiar" behavior. He was flamboyantly gay, but everyone liked him, so they just assumed he couldn't be gay and was just weird. I told him to tell the boss he is English. That got them off his back.
Morons!
Sadly cultural shift often takes time so your suggested workaround pleases me. It is not the ideal solution but it helped your friend get on with his day in a more pleasant atmosphere.
It's amazing the excuses and mental gymnastics someone will do for someone they find likeable and/or know personally.